7 Ways To Make Your Maddening Behaviors Work For You

Okay let’s assume you are very self aware and you are noticing behaviors that you would like to change or shift when interacting with others. Congrats! The next step is to be able to transform those behaviors into new strategies that will for you and for those around you.

In my book “The Control Freak Revolution- Make Your Most Maddening Behaviors Work for Your Company and To Your Advantage” I give in depth solutions on how to shift our actions in order to get new and enhanced results. I have been doing publicity for the book and I am commonly asked “how do we change these behaviors?”

It’s a great question and in Chapter nine I provide some help with this. In a very brief synopis here are 7 ways to make your maddening behaviors work for you:

Turn the negative into a positive for each maddening behavior transform it into new behaviors for example:

#1 Turn the negative of impatience into the positive of communicated urgency

#2 Turn the negative of being overbearing into the positive of assertive coaching

#3 Turn the negative of being over controlling into the positive of being just right controlling

#4 Turn the negative of being condescending into the positive of respecting others opinions

#5 Turn the negative of non trust into the positive of letting go slowly with trust

#6 Turn the negative of perfectionism into the positive of healthy achievement

#7 Turn the negative of being push and forceful into the positive of being flexible and adaptable

Of course none of these proposed shifts are easy to make and if you are really struggling I recommend getting support in the form of coaching in order to make a commitment to positive change and growth.

Or read the book

Control is OK Says Article in Best Life Magazine

No one wants to be called a control freak- if feels negative and judging. However we have viewed control freaks in an ‘all or nothing’ way in my opinion.

In the February issue of Best Life Magazine an article on the mind body connection states that people who suffer chronic back pain can obtain relief by learning to ‘control’ their thoughts about pain itself.

In my new book, “The Control Freak Revolution” my point is that we want to be a positive control freak that controls our minds with positive thoughts and we want to use positive behaviors to get better results with others.

Why is it a ‘revolution’? Because it is time that negative control freaks wake up and recognize the difference between being an overbearing and unbearably controlling person in a negative way and transform their controlling into a positive and inspiring way of being and interacting with others.

I have a quiz in my book in Chapter One which is free on my site www.cherylcran.com and I also found another quiz here http://www.blogthings.com/areyouacontrolfreakquiz/

Find out what level of a control freak you might be and work at becoming the most positive control freak possible.

Donald Trump a Control Freak?

I have been doing radio interviews for my new book “The Control Freak Revolution” and the number one question from interviewers has been “Why do we love ‘em or hate ‘em?” Usually they are referring to people I have referred to in the book like Donald Trump, Martha Stewart and Rudy Guiliani.The question as to why we love them or hate them is a great one. First of all there is no soft and fuzzy when it comes to ‘freaky’ control freaks which are the ones who are overbearing, over controlling, micro managing perfectionists. However we can become more lovable ‘funky’ control freaks when we shift our need to control people to focus instead on controlling ourselves.

When we focus on our thoughts and behaviors and think about how we affect others we can begin to pay close attention to when our controlling tendencies are working for us or against us. When I did my research for the book I found that Donald Trump was well loved by the people who work for him. They find him clear in his expectations with very high standards and they enjoy knowing where they stand with him.

I don’t know about you but if I were given the choice to work for someone who was covert in their control and highly manipulitive versus someone who had very high standards but communicated their expectations clearly I would much rather work for the leader with the exteme high standards.

The public persona of Donald from his show “The Apprentice” and now “Celebrity Apprentice” purposely portrays the dictatorial edge- it makes for good TV! In real life though you can bet Mr. Trump has a softer side that we don’t get to see.

On the last episode of “Celebrity Apprentice” (guilty of watching the episode) where he fired Gene Simmons he actually showed discomfort and dislike of having to do it. That was the most lovable I have ever seen ‘the Donald’. Right now we love him!

Gen X for Obama? Boomers for Clinton?

Cheryl Cran examines the U.S. Presidential race from the Gen X and Baby Boomer points of view.

Barack Obama appeals to Gen X- Hillary Clinton to the Boomers

By Cheryl Cran

Barack Obama is 46 years old he would be considered a Boomer 2 or by some research a Gen X cusper. Hillary Clinton is a true Boomer and is 60 years old.

Already the age issue is creating interesting debates among bloggers and voters alike. There is reports that Barack is appealing to the Gen X and Y generation as a young and fresh voice for President. In fact more young voters are registered to vote in this election due to the communication methods team Obama is using. They are texting messages direct to PDA’s- they are “you tubing” and “face booking” and attending rally’s where the younger generations as responding with great energy. The apathy that young voters may have felt in the last election is not evident with the race between Obama and Clinton.

Hillary Clinton is appealing to the crowd who would believe that with age comes wisdom and 60 is a respectable age for an important role such as President. Along with Hillary come not just age but experience and everyone remembers the stoic support she provided to her husband in his Presidency.

So it may not be comparisons any longer about gender or race in the Democatic race it may come down to ageism. The young want change and they see youth in leadership as a sure sign of change- they dont care so much about experience because they have become jaded by what they perceive as ‘old’ politics.

The Boomers want experience and yet they too want change and with boomers being the largest voting demographic I think this race will be interesting to look at when we analyze which age groups voted for which candidate.

This correlates to corporate America- Gen X have been patiently waiting for their chance to show their style of leadership. Boomers have been holding the leadership jobs based on time, age and experience. Who will win? It’s anybody’s guess and it may come down to age.

2008 - The Year For Leaders

Cheryl Cran explains why 2008 is going to be such an important year for leaders and leadership.

Okay so I have arbitrarily decided that 2008 is the year of the leader- with the US election coming up fast and the recent tragedy of leadership loss in Pakistan I feel that this year will be heavily focused on leadership.

Leadership is on of those words that we project onto only those who are in ‘boss’ positions and often we do not equate ‘managing’ with ‘leading’. Here’s the deal we are all leaders in some capacity regardless of our job titles. So having stated that 2008 is the “year of the leader” here are 6 ways to start the year off right:

1. Know your vision- what do you want to create this year?

Here are a few more questions to ask yourself in regard to vision.

What is the issue that is keeping you up at night?

What do you need and who can help you to create solutions?

What one major accomplishment would you like to achieve by the end of 2008 for yourself?

What one major accomplishment would you like to achieve with your team?

2. Communicate your vision- can you imagine if Martin Luther King had never used the words, “I have a dream…” to state his vision? A leader of magnitude has a fierce commitment to their vision and a deep heartfelt need to share that vision with anyone who will listen. Communicate in every forum possible- verbal, written, intranet, internet, blog, you tube, web radio, other blogs let everyone know about your vision and create positive energy around it.

3. Align with others with big visions- this is the year to align with others who have sinilar vision, goals and commitments. Encourage others to think big and bold, to behave big and bold and to create big and bold results. When you encounter individuals who are constricted by fear show them the opportunities that exist and steer them away from the limitations of fearful thinking. Gain energy from others who are focused on the possible and learn from them how to think even bigger and behave even more bolder.

4. Act abundantly- be generous in helping others achieve their goals. Let this year be the year that you give more openly and with no expectations of anything in return. Be the leader who shares information abundantly, who trains abundantly who provides tools abundantly and shares recognition abundantly. Each time you find yourself wanting to gain for ’self’ enlarge the scope of who can gain to everyone around you.

5. Fill your calendar with ‘fun’ dates- get out your PDA right now or your date book and choose one day per week to do something fun that you have always wanted to do but never actually followed through on. You get to decide if it will be an hour or 30 minutes- by scheduling it in you will remind yourself to do it. I finally signed up to do the stand up comedy course that I have been talking about for 3 years! It is scheduled for 8 weeks in 2008. After that I have scheduled dance classes.

6. Commit to being your best ’self’- Show up at work and with everyone you interact with as your ‘best’ self ever. You know the person who you are when you feel at the top of your game. Make this the year to be the most patient, tolerant, and understanding person that you can be. Then notice how much better you feel and how everyone else responds to you.

I hereby declare 2008 the Year of the Leader- that’s you! Yes life will happen, things will happen and yet we can set our intention at the beginning of each year just as we set it for each day and we can make this our best year ever.

Happy New Year!- Cheryl Cran, CSP www.cherylcran.com

Leaders as Storytellers - 3 Tips

In this post, Cheryl Cran talks about leaders as storytellers,
and offers three tips to engage your employees with storytelling.

The most inspirational speakers I have ever seen have developed a wonderful ability to tell stories in a compelling way. I have been blessed to be on the same platform as some amazing storytellers and it is their stories that always make the biggest impression on me.

Stories can be a bridge that reaches across all generations and cultures.

When I worked in the corporate world as a young leader in my twenties I had a boss who was a wonderful coach. Her name was Carol and she first introduced me to the power of telling stories in order to involve my team and get them on side.

For the past thirteen years that I have been a professional speaker I have carried forward the power of using stories in my presentations and have noticed the impact they have on the audience. People do not usually remember facts but they do remember stories.

Here are 3 tips on how to use stories in your role as a leader:

Tip #1- When you want to communicate a change or a new idea think of how you can relay the message with a story. Some questions you could ask yourself to help are:

When did I or the team go through a change similar to the one that is coming?

How did I feel about it? How did I manage? What were my challenges?

When you convey the story add your personal percpeption and your feelings to let the team know how you felt and how you managed.

Tip #2- Use stories of co-workers or team members. Stories don’t always have to be personal. Often telling a story about someone overcoming a challenge can be highly inspiring. It builds a sense that if ’someone else’ could come through so well then perhaps we can too. Make sure you ask permission to use someone else’s story and mention that you think their story will help others.

Tip #3- Encourage sharing of stories. Work teams that share positive stories about their work progress or creative problem solving have higher levels of morale. Stories build connection and weave a common thread among the team. At your weekly or bi-weekly meetings have some time set aside for ’storytelling’.

The power of stories to connect us and inspire us is a unique gift. Do not underestimate the power of storytelling in the workplace.

Get the Corner Office (5 Secrets for Gen Xers)

In a recent post I mentioned that Gen Xers are feeling frustrated with the ‘boomer ceiling’ that is preventing Gen Xers from moving up or getting the senior management jobs.

Here are 5 secrets specifically for Gen Xers on how to get that corner office promotion:

1. Dont get bitter get better- sit down with your boomer boss and ask him or her what you need to do to get to the position you want. State your goals and your willingness to do what it takes to get there.

2. Don’t threaten - do offer your persepective- there is nothing worse than an employee who threatens to go elsewhere if they don’t get the promotion or the recognition they feel they deserve. You are far better off to offer your opinion on your value to the company and then be honest about the options you are considering. If you are thinking of going elsewhere be up front about the opportunities you see and ask what your current boss thinks will be available for you and in what time frame.

3. Don’t compete-cooperate- Gen X energy can be very energetic, optimistic and to some weary baby boomers over zealous. The boomer can view your exuberant energy as direct competition to what the boomer has accomplished and they may feel threatened by your style. It is far more valuable to offer yourself as an ally and a resource to your baby boomer colleagues and position yourself as someone that is invaluable to the company. Expend your energy in helping your boomer boss look good and state your willingness to cooperate on mutual success. The boomer is likely to want to reciprocate or help you out after noticing that you have been cooperative.

4. Don’t begrudge the offspring- have a succession discussion- I have a dear friend who owns a very large publishing company and both of his daughters work for the company. My friend did not just give jobs to his offspring- they both had previous schooling and experience that would prove a huge asset to his company. Boomer entrepreneurs and owners want to involve their family in their businesses if the family members add value to the organization. Sit down with your boomer boss and discuss the realities of succession and ask them to be honest about the possibilities of executive positions available keeping in mind the possible family dynamics of the business.

5. Don’t be pushy- be patient- your timeline for promotion may be six months ahead of the boomer timeline or the company timeline. Remember that many boomers had to work ten to fifteen years before they got the privilege of senior management. Often the boomer boss will want to push back on your urgent need for promotion. Gen Xers are wired for speed of decisions and their impatience can back fire on them. Give yourself a deadline for the specific promotion you are aiming for. Make sure you have all of the attributes that are needed for the role- education, experience and skill set. State your goals for the position, ask what else you need to do to stand a chance and then apply for the promotion. If you do not get it- ask for constructive feedback as to why and then from there make your decision of whether you can wait for the next opportunity or whether you want to explore other avenues.

Gen X Are Ready To Be Executives

Enough about Gen Y and the Boomers- Gen Xers are saying once again “What about us?”
Recently I was a keynoter on board a cruise ship with business owners who were attending sessions on succession planning. I was asked to present my research and expertise on generations in the workplace. The keynote was a hit and afterwards a Gen X approached me and asked, “Why didnt you spend as much time on Gen X?” First I told her that she was being true to her generation by asking and then I admitted that I did focus more on Boomers and Gen Y and that was because the current issues around recruiting were focused on the Gen Y group. This feisty Gen X wouldnt let me off the hook and said, “we are the ones ready to take over and be executives and we need to be allowed to take the reins.”
She is right, many Gen X ers are resentful that the Baby Boomers are not helping them get to the upper ranks. In fact a Newsweek survey stated that 1 in 4 Gen X’s feel that Boomers are holding all of the good jobs. Gen X is ready to step up and in to the higher level roles and if they are not able to see the possibility within a few years they are looking elsewhere for organizations who are progressive and working on succession planning.
We do need to focus on Gen X in a big way, if they dont see leadership roles avaiable they are highly entrepreneurial and will head up their own companies.
This doesnt mean Boomers need to step aside it does mean they need to actively include, groom and provide a timeline of career advancement to Gen Xers.
So here’s to the Gen X - the squeezed generation- the generation who WILL be heard.

Gen Y Likes to Dress Up for Halloween

One of the questions that will be addressed on the Fanny Keefer show called Studio 4 http://www.studio4.ca will be which generation wants to dress up for Halloween.

It seems that there has been a resurgence of the interest in dressing up for Halloween and Gen Y is driving this. This is a generation who has adopted the Boomer music tastes, the Boomer nostalgia of drive-in movies and the childhoods of Boomers that included dressing up for Halloween.

My Gen Y daughter is so excited about dressing up at work with all of her work mates. She has been shopping for her costume for over two weeks. Interestingly though she has also been cost concious and did not want to spend too much on a one day dress up event.

Boomers and Gen X ers seem to be joining the fun feelings of Halloween as well and this year if it seems that more people are planning to dress up than usual.

In our times of global uncertainty and coupled with our heavily scheduled lives it would appear that ALL of us are looking for opportunities to lighten up and have some fun. Dressing up allows us to pretend to be someone else who is somewhere else and adds some levity to the workplace.

Years ago it was frowned upon for employees to dress up because it might be viewed as unprofessional. Now depending on the industry, workplaces find that customers enjoy seeing people dressed up and it adds interest for at least the one day.

For example my local Starbucks staff dressed up last year and the atmosphere was jovial, light and added to the sense of community that Starbucks is known to want to create.

I dont know about you but I wont be dressing up because it would be for my own benefit since I work out of my home office. Although I could skype my e-staff and we could see each others costumes via webcam. Hmmmm might not be a bad idea……..

We Will Be Working for Generation Y One Day

October 16th, 2007 There was an article in the Vancouver Sun a week ago that stated more Generation Y’s want to be self-employed than to work for an employer.

The Gen Y group ( 25 and younger) are creative and unstructured. They like the flexibility and autonomy that they perceive self employment will give them. They are highly successful at starting businesses because of their technological knowledge. In addition they use the principles of Malcolm Gladwells book “The Tipping Point” in that they leverage their connections through Facebook, My Space and other networking forums.

In regards to today’s employers attracting this elusive generation keep in mind that the Gen Y’s are looking for workplaces that offer entrepreneurial thinking along with training so that they can succeed quickly.

One could argue that every generation wants to be entrepreneurial but it is Gen Y who is least afraid of the risk factors. Part of that is that they have built in security with most Gen Y’s living at home until the age of 26 on average. So if they dont bring in revenue one month it doesnt mean life or death.

Employers can capitlize on the inherent desire of Gen Y’s to create, innovate and run their projects by providing interesting work and encouraging new and different ways of doing things that have been done the same way for a long time.

Be prepared to one day be working for Generation Y if not full time, at least on a project basis. Unless of course you yourself have the entrepreneurial bug and then you will be hiring or marketing to them. Bottom line- we need to tap into their way of thinking and into their knowledge on networking.

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